So much of it can be difficult.

During the service he made the following statement and I had to write it down:

And, all I have been able to think about since is what does that say for my home church? Our pastor struggled for eight years to lead our church and he met great opposition at times. It didn't matter what he wanted to do ... someone had to complain. There was always someone who was unhappy. There was always someone willing to tell everyone who would listen how they would have done it different or why it shouldn't have been done at all.

When our pastor went on sabbatical, after eight years without a real break, our church was fine. It was fully functional, fully operational ... just as it should be. The biggest problem we faced was the fact that other people had to step up and take on pastor's load. They had to visit the sick, go to the funerals, prepare for services, and make the trips to Sam's and Wal-Mart. They had to be prepared to listen to the needs of the congregation ... and their complaints.

What they felt was perfectly acceptable to place on his shoulders alone, they could not do with it divided between them. They were overwhelmed. They complained. Their spirits became strained.

After about five weeks they asked for his resignation and as much as it hurt him, he gave it. He packed up his wife and moved closer to his children and took an indefinite leave from the ministry.

If the church is just as responsible for what becomes of the preacher as the preacher is for what becomes of the church ... what responsibility do we have in overloading our pastor so much, and hurting him so bad, that he would rather leave ministry indefinitely than even consider taking on another church?

We have all the responsibility.

Instead of having cooperative spirits, we fussed. Instead of focusing on the positive, we spoke of the negative. Instead of it being about Christ, it became about us. Instead of honoring our pastor and serving him, we overloaded him and showed little regard for him. Instead of being there for him the same way he was for us, we showed him the door.

I guess that is why I have such a heart for our pastors out there. Serving under my pastor has taught me so much about the struggles and trials that a pastor can face. You see upfront what they have to go through at times and how difficult people can be.

You also see how their job is a 24/7 position. You just have to remember though that everyone needs a break at times.

And, if you want to know some ways to protect your pastor, check out this post from Kevin Martineau. I read it shortly after what happened with our pastor. I wish our whole congregation had read it years before. Maybe things would have turned out differently.

So, we took a few weeks to chill and work on home. I have really enjoyed it too! I definitely needed a break. I have been involved in so many different ministries for so long now that I was literally at church six days out of a week, most weeks. I never had time for myself or the things I love. It was all about church ... all the time. I took my responsibilities very seriously and I am a bit of a perfectionist, so I worked hard to make sure that everything was as it should be.

Now I am back to reading and studying again. I am enjoying working on my yard and getting some things done around the house that have been neglected for far too long. Plus, I have been able to spend some real quality time with the baby and I have really enjoyed that. She is so much fun and such a hoot!

I have so enjoyed not having to deal with church politics ... even if I have had to still deal with the gossip. But, I have worked hard to not get caught up in it and not let it get me down. That in and of itself is a major achievement, especially when so much of it has targeted me.

Anyways, we decided last Sunday to visit another church. We have had a number of friends try to get us to come for awhile now but we never did. We have always been very faithful to our church and rarely ever visited another one. I am so glad we picked this church though! I really, really enjoyed it. The preaching was sound biblically and the worship was really good. We both enjoyed it.

And going really made me realize how much I miss church and good preaching! I always loved our pastor's preaching. He could always get and keep my attention and I miss being fed like that. I love hearing the Word of God preached and I really love hearing it preached well.

So we are going back. I think we will still check out a few other churches, but I am definitely liking this church. We will see how it goes and where God leads. :)

Related Post: And Then Everything Changes

There is so much I want to do but since I have been free to do them ... I have been sick. That really sucks, but it is okay. I have been in the most blah kind of mood anyway.

I think I am grieving actually. Maybe I am depressed.

I just really hate what is going on at my church right now. I love my church. I miss my church. I miss the way things were at my church. I do not like how things are at my church now.

It totally sucks how it only takes a couple of people to ruin something. 

And it totally amazes me how oblivious some people are to what has went down and is continuing to go down there. You know it has to grieve God too. But church is nothing more than a big social click to some people. They don't care who the preacher is, what they preach, or whether or not things are dealt with in a biblical manner ... or even if Christ is glorified. Service is not in their vocabulary.

No, church is nothing more than the place where some people go to warm a pew, say the occasional "amen" and socialize with their family and friends. It is the place to see and be seen.

Who cares who is sacrificed on the Altar of the Me-Centered Church?

Not most.

The last I wrote, I was filling in for our church secretary as she was away on an extended vacation. Actually, her and our pastor was (as they are married). Pastor had been with our church for eight years and even on his day off, he didn't get a day off. I have been filling in and helping around the office for three years, so I can attest to the number of phone calls the man would get even on his "days off."

Next thing you know, our Board had asked for our Pastor's resignation. I won't get into that a whole lot other than to say that I personally didn't agree with it and still don't. I don't think he deserved it either. Our pastor is well-respected in our District, is obviously gifted for the pastorate, and is one of the most godly men I know. He has truly modeled what it means to be a Christian to me and everyone in his care.

I got to see a whole different side of one of our Board members. I truly respected him and thought so much of him, but he spoke to me in a most ugly way for expressing my concerns over what the Board had done and his attitude towards me is still no better. He went from commending me on what an excellent job I was doing of taking care of the church offices to barely being able to contain himself in my presence. He has had more than one sarcastic remark for me and at this point, I try to just avoid him.

Unfortunately, I spoke to the wrong Board member. I know many others who expressed their concern and disbelief that our Board would do what they did, but were not spoken to the way I was. I made the mistake of speaking to a man who made it plain that the Board does not answer to the members of the church.

Yeah, that shocked me too.

Well, it just got worse from there. They read our Pastor's resignation on a Sunday morning and named our Interim Pastor that Wednesday. The Board had him filling in for our pastor while he was away. I was quite dismayed by their choice, but not surprised. It is obvious that two of our Board members really like him. He has preached at our church throughout the years I have attended and I have never cared for his preaching. A lot of people at our church do not, but since he used to be the youth pastor there he is well thought of.

He made it quite clear, that very first Wednesday, that he did not want me as his secretary and that he planned lots of changes. Since I wasn't applying for the job, I wasn't too concerned. As the video projectionist and webmaster for our church, my hands were already full. Plus, I was leading our IMPACT TEAM as we went door-to-door evangelizing and am still very active in W.A.R. While I had a number of people tell me that I should apply for the secretarial position, and I loved the work, it really would have been a lot added to me and our family.

Time passed and I still had not been relieved as secretary. The Board had not had me put it in the bulletin that they were looking to fill the job and had not said anything to me about training anyone yet, so I decided to give my two-weeks notice. I figured that would get the ball rolling and if in two weeks they hadn't found anyone, at least I would know they were looking and I would continue to help out until they did have someone. Plus, they were paying me less than what they paid the secretary but my daycare removed the credit I got for working at church. After daycare and my gas back and forth to church, I was lucky to be making $25 a week.

So, I gave my two-weeks notice and headed out for the weekend. My husband and I helped move our pastor and his wife. We were so excited to be able to go with them and have some time together. We had a wonderful weekend and visited Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky. It was just the best time!

Monday morning came and I was back in the office as usual. Our Interim Pastor came in very early that morning, which should have been my clue ... but wasn't. He asked me how our trip with Pastor went and I was excitedly telling him about the church we visited oblivious to what was about to go down.

He asked me to step in his office and praised me on what a good job I did. Then he apologized that they had not kept me up-to-date on the secretary search but they had someone and she would start the very next day. They didn't need me to train her or anything. All they needed was my keys. I was all cool with it, though I did think it was weird that I wouldn't need to train her as Assemblies of God churches do a lot of paperwork and unless she had been a secretary in an AG church, she would have no clue. Plus, there was the PADD report and I knew she wouldn't know how to do that. So, I asked him if he was sure, he said he was and I said okay. I explained that my keys were actually the secretary's keys, they belonged to that office and I would hand them in at the end of the day.

And, it would have been all good had he stopped there. He didn't.

Then he went on to say how my relationship with our pastor and his wife made it difficult for him to work with me. That kind of set me back a minute as I had always treated him with the utmost courtesy and respect. I had bent over backwards to make him feel welcome. I told him I did not feel that was fair and that my friendship with Pastor had nothing to do with him. He said it didn't, but that it did.

That is when the conversation got really weird. He sat down across from me and told me that while I had a lot of potential, he could really work on some stuff with me but I would have to learn to trust him and now was probably not the time. He told me that he didn't want me touching any computer without his express permission and that he didn't want me taking on any tasks without his permission either. Suddenly, I realized, this was more than him just telling me that they had found another secretary and I asked him if he just wanted the secretary's keys ... or my keys as well. He said he wanted my keys.

Suddenly, all the years of service that I had given my church meant nothing. Working from morning until night, barely able to stand anymore, hurting in places I didn't even know existed ... none of that mattered. He was stripping me of all of my duties.

Why? I really don't have any clue and he never said. The only theme that was repeated was that he had an issue with my friendship with my pastor and his wife ... and honestly my friendship with them is none of his business.

That day and the next I was really hurt by what was done. It wasn't biblical, but then there was never a biblical reason to ask for our pastor's resignation either. But, God has given me peace on it. So, now I am kind of sitting back and waiting to see what the Lord has in store for me.

I know one thing ... it is amazing how a couple of men can get together and change everything overnight. It can be a real shame too.