The Rogue Angel

I cannot believe that I overslept. I am supposed to be at church right now facillitating the congregation in worship. I am the Video Projectionist and I set up all of the songs. I love it. And, I am missing it right now because I have been so tired of late that I must have turned off my alarm and went back to sleep or turned off the alarm in my sleep.

All I know is my gurl, CL, came knocking on the door an hour ago checking to see if I was okay because they had been calling and calling but I had not answered. They were worried because I am always at church early. I like time to get setup, to pray, to listen to some music as our Intercessors pray in the sanctuary. It is not like me to be late, let alone just not show up. If for some reason I won't be there, I call our Worship Leader and let her know. And, that is a rare thing. I make an effort to not miss church.

I love my church. I love the people in my church. We are a family and I miss them when I am not there. Plus, I need my God fix. There is nothing like sitting up on that balcony and feeling the Holy Spirit come down. The worship changes. It becomes so thick and beautiful. It is felt all over the sanctuary. It is truly amazing. It is hard for me to remain in my seat! I want to get up, raise my hands to God, and sing with everyone else.

And, sometimes I do. Rarely though. I have a service to perform and I take it seriously. But, there is one song that makes it so hard for me. It touches my soul in a deep way. If it is played last, I will get up and praise God with everyone else and worship Him. Revelation Song is that song. If you have never heard it, I strongly recommend you listen to it. It is so awesome. I may post it sometime.

Anywho ... I am going to jump off here. I feel guilty enough blogging when I am supposed to be in church! I think I will turn on some worship music and have a little church up in here. :)

Posted by Angel at 10:34 AM | Comments [0] | TrackBacks [0]
Filed under: Faith | Words [394]

It's been a long time coming too. I know.

I think the blog is back up and running soundly. I want to go to MT4, but I am going to have to work on the whole template issue and I am not ready to do that yet. It has taken so much time just getting this blog back up and working and I do not have much in the way of time.

I am sorry about the mess my blog became. I just didn't have the time or ability to check in with it much or even do anything about what was happening to it. I still don't understand what happened to it. It started running errors occassionally and then it was all the time. Eventually, you couldn't access my blog at all. When I got into it to take a look ... the mt directory was gone! Another main directory was mush ... full of files that I had never even seen before. My database was jibberish. It didn't make sense. I tried to call my girl who has been hosting me for like forever but the number I have for her now belongs to someone else.

So, I went to GoDaddy not knowing that intalling MT on it is near impossible, if not completely. I wasted days trying to figure out what I was doing wrong just to find out that they have issues and know it. Now I am on HostGator and it looks like things are going to work. Yay!

I have really missed blogging. I don't know how much time I am going to have to devote to it and cleaning up this site. It may be slow going at first. I am a busy woman. But, I am glad to be back. :)

Posted by Angel at 10:08 AM | Comments [1] | TrackBacks [0]
Filed under: Blogging | Words [299]

I went in on that Monday morning and had a beautiful baby girl at 8:17 AM on Tuesday, March 25th. She was 8 pounds and 3 ounces and 21 inches long. The labor was hard and difficult. We had too many complications, but it was all worth it. God is mighty and wonderful! She is healthy and we are so proud of her.

Posted by Angel at 05:21 PM | Comments [2] | TrackBacks [0]
Filed under: Personal | Words [63]

Tomorrow morning at 7 AM, I am to report to the birthing center to be induced. I am nervous and excited! I am only 38 weeks, but I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes at 28 weeks. That means they just can't let me go to 40 weeks. Little Mama is getting a bit too big for that. :)

It hasn't helped that my pelvis seperated 12 weeks ago either. This pregnancy hasn't been easy, by no means, but I am blessed that God decided to give me another child. I didn't think I wanted another baby, but as the weeks have passed, I have grown more and more excited.

I still can't believe I am actually having another baby!

Posted by Angel at 08:46 AM | Comments [1] | TrackBacks [0]
Filed under: Personal | Words [119]

While surfing the web today, I came across this site that has some beautiful backgrounds: Christian Wallpaper. You should check them out!

Posted by Angel at 09:13 AM | Comments [0] | TrackBacks [0]
Filed under: Around The Web | Words [23]

Sometimes the hardest thing to remember is that the Body of Christ is made up of human beings. You want things to work smoothly. You want everyone to have the right spirit. You want everyone to cooperate and love one another.

It doesn't always work that way. Because ... human beings are not perfect. Our attitudes are not always right, nor is our behavior. But, we are loved and forgiven. And, through sanctification, we will become the people that the Lord wants us to be.

It is definitely something to look forward to! :)

Posted by Angel at 08:17 AM | Comments [0] | TrackBacks [0]
Filed under: Faith | Words [94]

Today my ex-husband was sentenced for what he did to my three daughters. He tried to get it continued, which was denied. He asked for a new trial, which was denied. He has now asked for that denial to be reconsidered. He wasted a lot of the courts time and in the end he was sentenced and sent back to prison. The chances of him winning an appeal or getting a new trial is slim to none. He is guilty. Period. As much as he wants to raise a fuss and his family wants to pretend he has been somehow mistreated and railroaded ... it doesn't change the fact that he is guilty and he is being punished for the crimes he committed.

Interestingly enough, one of my former nieces ... one I love very much and was pretty close to ... came to the sentencing with my ex-husband's girlfriend and tried to chase after me when I left the courtroom. I saw her coming out of the corner of my eye and when I got to the landing I turned to face her and asked her what she thought she was doing. My best friend, Kim, and her nine year old daughter was with me and she got in between us. I am pregnant and she wasn't about to see me have to defend myself ... which I was quite ready to do. But, instead, a court officer heard what was going on and stepped in. He told her she was mere minutes from being arrested and she kept going down the stairs with my ex's girlfriend right behind her. Kim asked for us to be escorted, explaining that I am four months pregnant and that she had her child with her.

You know, it is funny. His sisters have threatened to "whoop" me since he was arrested but not one of them have even tried to put their hands on me. Now that I am pregnant, and they know I am, they send their twenty-three year old niece to do it. And, believe me when I say that while I am a Christian ... I am not about to lay down and let anyone attack me and harm my unborn child. I will defend myself and my baby. That is for sure.

I do pray for them though. They have so much hatred in them and all because they don't want to face what he is. I know he had something to do with the incident today too and that is okay. I forgive him and I forgive them. Hopefully, one day, he and they will find peace and give their lives to the Lord as well. I hope they do. I really do.

Posted by Angel at 07:38 PM | Comments [0] | TrackBacks [0]
Filed under: Personal | Words [456]

I spent Saturday and Sunday at the Four Rivers Will Graham Celebration in Paducah, Kentucky. Sis and I were counselors and my hubby was an Usher Captain. Sis' husband had platform access so all of our kids got awesome seats. The entertainment was great and the preaching was wonderful. Many came to Christ! It was truly awesome!

Posted by Angel at 10:01 AM | Comments [0] | TrackBacks [0]
Filed under: Faith | Words [57]

We are expecting a baby on April 1, 2008! I am falling out here! Really. I am way too old to be having babies. My youngest is nine years old and I was actually starting to look forward to the day when the house would be empty and me and my hubby would still be young enough to enjoy it.

God obviously had other plans. I am cracking up!

Posted by Angel at 11:51 AM | Comments [2] | TrackBacks [0]
Filed under: Personal | Words [69]

As many of you know, my children suffered abuse at the hands of my ex-husband. On July 24th, they had their day in court and on July 25th he was found guilty by a jury. He took a plea on his sentencing and will be in prison for a very long time. He will also be a registered sex offender for life, which is what I wanted more than anything else. I had no clue when I married him what he was. I don't want anyone else to go through what we have and maybe now they won't have to.

Of course, a few of his family members got on the stand and lied for him. I was not able to hear their testimony, but was later told some of the things that they said. One of which was that I was the one that did not want the divorce and that it was me that prolonged it. Of course, we had proof that was all lies. He was the one that never signed the divorce papers and a judge had to finally declare us divorced. They also forged a letter from me claiming I would get my revenge. They even attached it to an envelope that had my actual handwriting on it. Unfortunately, for them the County Attorney had the actual letter I wrote that went with that envelope and another letter I had written as well and it was obvious to everyone that it was not my handwriting.

His family has made their threats and called me every "white" this and that obscenity that they could come up with after he was found guilty. They even called my Pastor, his wife, and other members of our church "the Klan." But, that is okay. God is good. He has blessed us in ways that I never imagined. I thank the Lord every day for the wonderful home and husband I now have. My kids are safe and loved. He will protect us. And, I forgive them. They used to be my family and I still love many of them dearly. Some of them still love me too ... even if they have to hide that they do so.

Hopefully, I will get internet again soon. We just got cable this month. Honestly, it just hasn't been a priority. I have been so busy and I just haven't had time to worry about such things. I can't even imagine posting much even if we do get internet again. But, I do check my Yahoo email and come on Yahoo IM via my cell phone so you can always catch me there as "therogueangel."

God bless you and thank you for all your love and support.

Posted by Angel at 09:20 AM | Comments [1] | TrackBacks [0]
Filed under: Personal | Words [455]

I married the most wonderful man on the planet. We were married in our church by our pastor in front of our friends and our families. I could not be more joyous or blessed. The Lord has restored my life. My children are healing. We have a beautiful new home and a wonderful life. God is so good. He has blessed me in ways I never imagined possible.

Love to you all and more when I can.

Posted by Angel at 11:04 PM | Comments [2] | TrackBacks [0]
Filed under: Personal | Words [77]

Christmas was awesome. My sister and my brother brought their families and we had a really good meal. Everyone said it was good and that the ham was da bomb ... the best I've ever made. I really enjoyed it. The kids got more presents than I thought they would and they really liked what they got. That made me very happy.

We went back to court on the 18th and once again my husband was not transported from prison. I couldn't help it and I started crying. He was arrested in May and it is December and we still do not have a trial date. Every court date, either they don't transport him or he files some new ridiculous motion to slow things down. The judge set a fourth pre-trial for February 5th. The prosecuting attorney told him that on that day he either wants a trial date or a plea agreement.

It amazes me how the judicial system has done nothing but cater to this man. They took two weeks to arrest him. We have had seven months of court dates, but a trial date has not been set. He has had three status conferences and is now getting ready to have his fourth pre-trial. They are so worried about stepping on his precious rights. What I would like to know is who is concerned with the rights of three little girls who deserve justice? Do their rights not matter? It makes no sense whatsoever to me.

I am also appalled that the court system allows him to hold up our divorce. I signed divorce papers on June 29th. I still do not have a divorce. Because he is in prison, they have to make sure that his rights are not violated and a Guardian Ad Litem has to be appointed to represent him. He waits to the last day to respond to anything sent him and then he holds things up with stupid requests like me changing my name and that he wants custody of Lady! First of all, he is in prison. He cannot have a dog in prison! Secondly, Lady died on September 20th! I notified his mother and one of his nephews after I found out she had been hit by a car. Obviously, they didn't bother to tell him or he doesn't care and is just using it as another tool to hang onto me as long as he can. He tells his family that he cannot wait until we are divorced, but yet he does everything in his power to prevent it from happening.

It is ridiculous. Really.

But, God is faithful and He shows me His love everyday. He has done so much good in our lives since all this went down. He really has. My faith has grown tremendously. I met a wonderful man in our church and we have become the best of friends. He has a strong walk with the Lord and the most gentle heart of anyone I have ever met. He has asked me to marry him and I have accepted his proposal. He is in a ministry program in the next town over right now and we are hoping to be married by the time he graduates next year. He is the reason the kids had a good Christmas.

God continues to bless me and I try hard to focus on those blessings and not the adversity I face with my soon-to-be ex-husband. The devil can only do so much. I also have to remember that as much as I want to call that man a monster, he is a child of our God as well. God loves him. I just hope one day he realizes that and repents for what he has done.

In the meantime ... I am outtie. Hopefully, the internet will be restored early next year. God bless you for even taking the time to come by and see how we are doing. :)

Posted by Angel at 09:50 AM | Comments [3] | TrackBacks [0]
Filed under: Personal | Words [665]