October 2006 Archives

When it rains, it pours. And, it is always nice when you can't seem to do anything about it and you are supposedly surrounded by people that claim to love you but they honestly don't care what even happens to you.

Yeah.

Update 10:32 PM: Sometimes it is so easy to get discouraged, but God has an amazing way of turning things around. Praize God! He never fails me ... even when I can't see the forest for the trees.

Well, this should be my last post until after Christmas (most likely). The site will remain, I just won't be around. When I can get online, I will be checking my yahoo mail, so hit me up there under therogueangel. That is my email on Yahoo and my YM ID. It is also my email addy on gmail too.

Please keep us in your prayers. We have another pre-trial on November 6th. They offered my husband ten years. If he goes to trial he will get twenty. I wish he would just take the plea and responsibility for what he did. Unfortunately, I don't see that happening. He will take it to trial just for the cruelty factor. And, that is okay. My kids are stronger than he thinks they are. So am I.

I want to thank everyone who reads my blog, emails me, and who has been a support to me and my family thru all this. You are greatly appreciated. In the meantime, know that we are okay ... regardless of what happens. They say God won't give you more than you can handle and that what doesn't kill you just makes you stronger. We are hanging tight and the Lord has us in the palm of His hand.

Addendum: And, if you want to buy me anything for Christmas and send it to me early ... The Sims™ 2 Pets ... is what I want so bad I cannot stand it! Help an addict out, okay? If you need my address, the game is listed first on my wishlist. :)

Father ...

Please remind us that it is by our love for one another and the fruit that we bear that people will know us as Your children. Let not the only fruit we bear be that of self-righteousness for it is not good fruit and we want to be good trees that bear good fruit, not bad trees that bear bad fruit. So many come to You looking for what Jesus can do for them instead of what they can do for Jesus. We must remember always that we can give without loving, but we can never love without giving. Refine us, oh Lord, to be as You call for us to be.

In Jesus Name ... Amen.

On Monday of this week, one of the sweetest children I have ever known died in a dirt bike accident. He was a staple around my home, cousin to my two oldest children. He had the most infectious smile I have ever seen in my life. I loved it when he came bouncing into the house. He truly brightened my day.

Yesterday, we buried him. He was only twelve years old. He was like one of my own and I am missing him so bad. I just can't believe he's gone. Not him. He was too good. He was so sweet. Everyone loved him. I just can't even begin to imagine this world without him. It just won't be the same. Not for any of us. He was taken far too soon.

Yesterday, I saw my husband for the first time since May. It was even harder than I thought it would be and it didn't help that he kept turning around looking at me trying to make me feel sorry for him. I ended up falling out after court and crying so hysterically that they had to almost carry me out of there. I could barely walk and I couldn't stop shaking.

Financially, things are getting worse. I am doing the best I can but there is only so much I can do in such a short amount of time. Christmas is really going to suck around here. I don't know what I am going to say to the kids.

I won't be online much longer. I couldn't pay the cable bill and they will eventually cut it off and when they do the internet will go with it. It can't be helped though. I just keep having to clean up the financial mess he left us in and pray that everything starts to look up soon.