February 2006 Archives

The last couple of months have been really hard on me emotionally. Some of you know what I am talking about and will understand far better than most of my readers. For those that don't know what has been going on in my life, I am sorry. I just do not feel comfortable bringing it to the blog. I see nothing good coming from me making my personal life that public. I hope you will understand.

That being said, I am taking a break from the internet. Not just blogging, but from email ... everything. I am not going to be reading blogs or surfing the web. I am not going to be coding sites or chatting. I need to get away from all of it. I have found myself dipping deeper and deeper into a depression and I just don't have the bandwidth for all this stuff.

I feel myself shutting down and the feeling of just not caring taking over and I know that is not what God wants from me. One of the greatest gifts God has given me is the way I care about our world, the environment, the creatures He created, and what kind of place we leave for future generations. I can't just follow Christ and shut down simultaneously to everything else. I can't let other people, their hate, and their actions discourage me from living the life that God calls for me to live. I can't keep letting certain people hurt me. And, I definitely cannot let anyone come in and destroy my life, how I see the world, myself, or anything else ... especially when God has given me so much to live for.

Instead, I have decided that I am going to spring clean my house. I find that I heal best when I am too busy to think about everything that is bothering me. God does wonders when you just give everything to Him and focus on other things instead. And, that is what I am going to do. I am going to focus on the physical filth in my life and I am going to let Him deal with the emotional filth. I am just handing all of this over to God and I am going to let Him deal with my life and all this pain I am dealing with. I can't deal with it anymore. I can't even deal with the people that play such active roles in it or even those that just want to help.

I hope you will understand ...

Since I am too sick to accomplish much of anything, I figured I would do a quiz ...

You Are a Retrospective Soul

The most misunderstood of all the soul signs. Sometimes you even have difficulty seeing yourself as who you are. You are intense and desire perfection in every facet of your life. You're best described as extremely idealistic, hardworking, and a survivor. Great moments of insight and sensitivity come to you easily. But if you aren't careful, you'll ignore these moments and repeat past mistakes. For you, it is difficult to seperate the past from the present. You will suceed once you overcome the disappoinments in life. Souls you are most compatible with: Traveler Soul and Prophet Soul

Found at Bob's blog.

I had planned to go to my sister's house today to get my hair highlighted, but called to reschedule due to a sleepover my daughter wants to attend. I am glad I did now as I woke up this morning to snow and more snow! It is still snowing and they say it will all day today.

And, I feel too bad to play in it. *pout*

I spent the majority of the day in bed today. I was supposed to go to the dentist, but they cancelled. My dentist has the flu. Which is all good because I have this throat and head thing and it feels like I am going to die any minute. If it doesn't kill me all this sleeping will. Monday night I went to bed at 8:30 PM and slept all night. I got up to get the kids off to school and went back to bed and slept all day. Then I slept all last night and slept most of the day again today. I could go back to sleep right now. I just can't seem to shake this sleepiness.

That totally sucks too. I have so much I want to get done and I can't seem to accomplish anything. I finally got the book review done that I should have gotten done two weeks ago. I am currently reading two different books. One to be reviewed and one that I want to read. I slacked off on my exercise and diet and now I am ready to get back to it full force, but haven't found the time or the energy to do so just yet.

I am in this totally blah state where I am just unhappy with everything. Especially anything to do with me. I want to lose more weight, I want to do something different to my hair, I have actually been wearing makeup on occassion lately, and stuff like that. I am bored. I am seriously bored with me. This weekend, :Sis: is going to highlight my hair for me. It has been a long time since it was highlighted so I think I am going to like it. Now, if I could just get up the nerve to have my hair cut off. It is to my waist again and there just isn't a whole lot that can be done to it--style-wise.

Oh, and I am totally buggin' on that Johari Window. If you haven't done so, click on over and pick 5-6 words you feel describes me. The fact that there are people out there that think that I am powerful and brave just trips me out. I so don't see myself that way. It is really cool though.

Anywho ... I am outtie. I need to get back to work on a site and I have a lot of other stuff I need to get done. I will holla at y'all later!

The first thing that struck me when I received Credo was the cover and the style of the book. The texture of the pages, the uneven edges, the old world style type--made me feel that I was opening a treasure of sorts. It was like I was opening an old scroll of secrets yet untold. My impressions were correct. Credo is definitely a treasure.

The Apostles Creed is the oldest and most widely accepted creed within the Christian faith and Credo sets out to explain it like no other book has ever done. Not only does it tackle why the Apostles Creed matters, but it also breaks it down point by point. Pritchard even goes so far as to show why we should believe the creed and what it means to our lives. I was not only drawn to his arguments, I found myself nodding my head constantly in agreement.

Each section ends with questions that can be used to further study the creed individually or as a group. I honestly think this book would be great for churches to use to study the creed and why it is important to our faith. Those new to the faith and those that have been Christians all of their lives will enjoy this book. It made me look at the creed in a whole new light. It isn't just something I say at the end of service anymore. It is a statement of my belief in God, in my salvation through Christ, his resurrection, the Holy Spirit, the forgiveness of sins, and so much more. I agree with Pritchard that some things are not negotiable and you must believe in certain things to actually be a Christian. Our faith is founded on truth and it means something to believe in the tenets of Christianity. The creed reminds us of that.

I highly recommend this book and will consider it required reading for my children as they grow in their faith. As Christians, we believe in something worth dying for and Christ is the cornerstone of everything we believe. Credo expresses that in a fundamental and powerful way.

- Credo by Ray Pritchard was sent to me as a gift by Mind & Media. I was not paid for this review.

I found this over at Shylah's and contributed to hers. I hope y'all will contribute to mine. :) Just pick five or six words that you think describe me. Be honest!

http://kevan.org/johari?name=therogueangel

Also: Just so you know, I visited my sister's blog and I got sick. My throat is killing me, my head is pounding, and I feel like dirt. I am going to bed. You can go throw tomatoes at her for coughing on me while I visited her blog! ;)

I Forgot: Happy Valentine's Day!

This week is going to be pretty busy as well, it seems. I have appointments every day, except for Tuesday. Plus, Panther and Lady have to go back to the vet. Lady has to get her stitches out and they just want to see how well Panther is doing since she got sick. And, somewhere in all this, I need to get my grocery shopping done.

The most I am hoping for is that I get a review done this week. Not much on the blogging front otherwise. :(

Yes, it is another dog post. Sue me.

Gentleman, the same dog that got loose and stayed gone for four days and I had to buy a choke chain for, was lying in my front yard this morning when I got up to take Peanut outside to potty. My first thought was that my nephew or LM had turned him loose for his potty run and forgot to call him back and put him back on his chain. I brought him in, fed him, gave him his favorite treats, and then drove him back to my nephew's house.

Gentleman had broken the choke chain. In half. *sigh*

I put him back on his chain using his main collar, but tightening it a bit so it wouldn't just slip back over his head. Then I headed to the dentist. When I came home this evening, I stopped by Wal-Mart and bought two choke chains and am now using both of them. Both of them are around his neck and attached to his chain. If he is able to break two choke chains, I will officially give up because I will have no clue what to do at that point. Any suggestions?

The next few days are going to be busy, busy around here. Tomorrow I am off to the dentist for a cleaning, plus I need to get straw for the dogs as cold weather is coming in fast. Thursday, Peanut is due his second set of puppy shots and I have to pick up rabies kits for Lady and Gentleman so I can give them their rabies shots for this year. I also have a school meeting that day. Friday, Lady is getting spayed and I have another meeting that afternoon. I am also still caring for Panther and that will keep me busy as well. She is feeling much better though.

So, anyway, I doubt I will be posting much. My apologies upfront, but life calls. :)

Yes, I am nuts. It is true and I don't mind admitting it. I also don't mind driving down a dozen or more streets at a crawl with my windows down, in the winter, with Peanut on my lap ... calling for Gentleman at the top of my lungs. I also didn't mind the cars that built up behind me or the fact that those people thought I was crazy as I waved them around me because I was not going to speed up to accommodate them. No, I was on a mission and that was to find Gentleman and bring him home. He had been gone for four days and that was four days too long.

What can I say? I love my puppies. :)

And, speaking of such ... Panther is already feeling better. She was actually playing last night and I haven't seen her do that for a while now. I thought she was just a lazy puppy. The only time she would play is if you brought the play to her. But, she is actually holding her own with Peanut now. I have to watch him though. He is still a bit too rough for her, but I am sure that will change as she gets to feeling even better.

We spent the weekend with puppies! Lady and her little girls (Panther, Lil Sally, & Sassy) came to see Peanut and they had a ball. We had so much fun, in fact, that we took our puppy show on the road and went to visit my sister and her family. The kids had a ball and the puppies did too. :)

Today is going to be a busy day around here. Peanut's sister, Panther, has something wrong with her and I am taking her to the vet today. She has this bubbly look around her mouth and a few bumps around her eyes. She also has this lump under her chin that makes her look like she has a double chin, but it is solid and you can move it around a bit. I just pray that whatever it is doesn't cost too much. Peanut has to have his shots this week and Lady is finally getting spayed! LM finally agreed to it. I think eleven puppies changed his mind. ;)

I am also going back to the Animal Shelter to look for Gentleman. He disappeared Friday morning and we haven't seen him since. His collar was still on his chain but he is no where to be found and I have looked and looked for him. I am so upset about it too. He has never stayed gone this long before. Normally if he gets loose he will make his little rounds and come right back. The longest he has ever stayed gone has been a couple of hours. He is now on his fourth day. I am praying he is at the Animal Shelter and they just don't realize they have the dog that I reported missing Friday. I know that this time I am going to walk into the dog kennel areas and look instead of just taking their word for it. And, if I find him ... we are buying a choke chain. I am just hoping he is not as smart as Lady because she can get out of them.

Now I am off! I need to get myself ready for the day. Lata!

Update 9:29 AM: Panther has an infection and her lymph nodes are swollen. She is also running a fever of 103! The vet prescribed her antibiotics and said she should be feeling much better in a couple of days. I am so happy! I was afraid it was something much more serious and that I would be spending my morning having the sweet baby put to sleep and sweet she is! She is the biggest cuddle baby you ever saw. I am so glad it turned out much better than I thought it would. :)

Update: 10:57 AM: God is in control and that is what I reminded myself of as I drove to the animal shelter. Gentleman wasn't there. I went in and asked to see all the dogs (and there were some beautiful ones), but none of them was my Gentleman. I did find out though that a call had come in on Saturday and a friendly Rottweiler had been spotted on Wilford. My heart lept and I went driving after saying a little prayer. It had been two days since he had been spotted, but I didn't care. I drove for I know thirty or so minutes, calling his name, and driving real slow. I was about to give up when I felt the need to backtrack one particular neighborhood and that is when I seen my baby come running at me at 90 MPH! He is filthy and stinks like you would not believe ... but he is safe, home, and eating a meal fit for a king. :) I also went to get that choke chain and he is now on that. God is so great!

Bono not only spoke at the National Prayer Breakfast, he spoke profoundly ...

I was amazed when I first got to this country and I learned how much some churchgoers tithe. Up to ten percent of the family budget. Well, how does that compare the federal budget, the budget for the entire American family? How much of that goes to the poorest people in the world? Less than one percent.

Mr. President, Congress, people of faith, people of America:

I want to suggest to you today that you see the flow of effective foreign assistance as tithing…. Which, to be truly meaningful, will mean an additional one percent of the federal budget tithed to the poor.

Independent Christian Voice has the post that tells you all about it. Go read what all Bono had to say. It is truly inspired.

I received this in email yesterday and wanted to pass it on ...

Oppose Controversial New Nuclear Program

In his State of the Union address, President Bush called for investment in “clean, safe nuclear energy.” This seemingly harmless phrase, however, does not describe the controversial new program currently under consideration by the administration and some members of Congress. Under this new plan, the U.S. would “reprocess,” or separate, weapons-usable plutonium from the spent nuclear fuel generated by U.S. power reactors.

This proposal would make it easier for terrorists to acquire the material for making a nuclear bomb. It would require the construction and operation of an array of nuclear facilities that would handle enough plutonium annually to make thousands of nuclear weapons. It would also make disposing of nuclear waste more difficult, encourage other countries to reprocess, and cost a tremendous amount of money. Help us make this program politically “radioactive:” please tell your representative and senators to keep nuclear material out of the hands of terrorists by rejecting all efforts to fund this dangerous plutonium reprocessing program.

Take Action!

I hope you will come on board to oppose this program.

I read this post over at Jay's yesterday and then found this in my inbox today. I found it definitely fitting and I am getting the message. This is definitely one area that I really need to work on in my life.

What, me worry?

"So I tell you, don't worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food, drink, and clothes. - Matthew 6:25 NLT

Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. - Psalm 55:22 NLT

The Mistrust Of Anxiety

Words of encouragement from the Master are always welcome. The stresses of life come upon us and a brother or sister in Christ reminds us that He is in control. He is sovereign, He knows when the sparrow falls, He numbers the hairs on our heads, He clothes the lilies of the field. He says not to worry about our life, and we welcome the suggestion as an encouraging pat on the back.

But how often do we view this verse as a commandment from on high? It may not carry the force of "Thou shalt not," and it may not have the emphasis of a "Go into all the world," but it is written as an imperative nonetheless. "Do not," Jesus says, and Paul echoes this injunction in Philippians: "Be anxious for nothing" (4:6). These are our liberating orders. We are told not to do something we hate doing anyway.

Dare we suggest by our worry that some catastrophe may slip by without His notice? No, "tragedies" befell Joseph, Moses, David, Jesus, Paul, and others, and God ordained them all for good. All of these surely could have worried, examining their circumstances while going through them. But looking back, we see God's perfect plan unfolding. Therefore Jesus urges, even commands: Do not worry.

Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength. ~ Charles Spurgeon

From the newsletter, God's Daily Promises. To subscribe, enter your email address and scroll down until you find the newsletter. Click subscribe and submit. God's Daily Promises is provided by Left Behind.

That I totally missed telling you guys about how I have been a nonsmoker for a year now? Oh yeah, I did. I was on hiatus and never stopped to tell you about it or give you the opportunity to tell me how great I am and all that jazz! And, now I have been Quit for 1 Year, 1 Month, 1 Day, 6 hours, 10 minutes and 38 seconds (397 days). I have saved $873.96. I have not smoked 15,890 cigarettes. I have also saved 4 Months, 1 Day, 9 hours and 10 minutes of my life!

Can you believe that? And, the question people ask me the most is, "How did you do it?!" The answer is: God, Quitnet, determination, plastic flossers, sugar-free peppermints, and lots and lots of praying. I also went into my Quit with a positive attitude. I knew it would be hard, but I also knew it wasn't going to be as hard as I tried to make it out to be and that God would get me past it. There was only two real days that I thought I was going to lose my mind and my husband was beyond sweet about it. He let me lay in bed both days and he took care of the house and kids.

Don't let a stick of cancerous tobacco beat you. If I can do it, anyone can. I smoked for 22 years and for over ten of that I was smoking two packs a day or more. You are bigger than a cigarette and with God's help, you can QUIT too. :)

I came across this site today while searching for my oldest daughter a promise ring. I have been loving some of their merchandise ever since. You really need to check them out. :)

Planet Icthus

The last couple of days has been exhausting. I have been busy getting my car cleaned, new tires put on, a tune-up, and picking up a few odds and ends here and there. I have not cleaned house. I have not done laundry ... even though I have a dryer now. I have barely found time to blog!

But, honestly, there really isn't a whole lot I feel like blogging about. I don't want to bore you to death with Peanut's progress and how I bought him a new dog bed and how he is scared of it. But, just in case you are interested, the poor thing would rather sleep in a cardboard box than sleep on this nice fluffy dog bed. Though, in all fairness, it is probably because I bought it for the size he will be one day and not the size he is now. :)

Politics is, well ... politics as usual. Bush said the same ole thing last night and I wasn't impressed. Alito got confirmed. I really don't know what I think of that. I never really understood the big hooha over him. He never said anything that made me think he would be bad at his job or not be able to be objective about the law. It kind of tickled me in a way. I think it was just over the fact that he is considered conservative.

So is Bill Clinton and I love him. :)

There has also been a lot of stuff about Cindy Sheehan being written as well today. Did she get vocal last night or did she just unzip her jacket and have on an anti-war t-shirt? Considering the last five years and Bush's track record, I am going to say that all it would have taken is her wearing the shirt. He does not take too well to dissent of any kind and seems to not have a good grasp on what freedom of speech is. Yet, I will say that while I support Cindy Sheehan's right to wear a t-shirt, I don't think it was very appropriate attire. I don't think she deserved to be arrested for it though. That is like total overkill.

And, now I am off! I think I am going to nap before church tonight. I am so sleepy. I think it was all that sitting and waiting I did today while they worked on my car. Thank goodness, I had a good book with me to keep me company. :)