David posted a comment to a post over at Say Anything. I posted a comment to it on David's blog, because the comment he posted hit a pet peeve of mine, and then Mark replied to me. Well, I went to reply to Mark and ended up writing more than a mere comment, so I decided to make a post out of my comments.
So, it's not that you don't want the responsibility, it's that you don't think you can handle it, because of your responsibility to your older children? It's still a responsibility issue.
Yeah, it is called considering the responsibility one already has. But, it has nothing to do with shirking responsibility. And, that is what ticked me off about that comment. That is what ticks me off about the Right's constant harping on abortion. They always try to make it out like there are a bunch of women terminating their pregnancies for no other reason than they are evil wenches who want to kill a baby. It is always about them being selfish and not wanting to ruin their figures, be a mother, and such. It is never the realistic reasons that one hears when one is listening to a crying woman wondering if she should actually have an abortion.
Anywho ... I did not abort my child. She is seven years old, looks just like me, and is one of the most important people in my life.
But, I laid in bed and I cried so many nights because I did not know what to do about her. I was on birth control. The only reason I found out I was pregnant is because I ate some fried mushrooms and ended up in the emergency room thinking I had food poisoning. When I called her father to tell him I was pregnant, he said "it" wasn't his even though we had been together for years and I had given him no reason to believe I had ever been unfaithful.
I lived on my child support and a part time job as a paralegal. I was a full-time college student. I was taking out student loans right and left just to keep me and the kids I had afloat while I got a degree. It was the hardest time of my life. And, it was the hardest decision I ever made.
What got me to the point where I thought I could have her was my OB/GYN. He was a fellow Christian, anti-abortion, and knew that I was considering the termination of my pregnancy. He came to my home and told me that if I would carry my child to term, he would help me with any bill that I could not pay. It did not matter if it was the rent, my groceries, or my insurance. He would pay it.
So, I had my third girl. I asked him to pay a total of two bills for me. He would pay another bill for me to this day if I asked. He did a lot for us that year. He bought my children their Christmas presents. I did not ask him to do that. He did it out of the kindness of his heart. When I was sick and he needed to hospitalize me, his family took my children and kept them for the days I was in the hospital. When I had my baby and was ready to go home with her, he surprised me with a limo and told the driver to take the long route home.
I thank God for that man. He is a saint on earth. An angel of mercy. He is the kindest man I have ever known. He was, and still is, willing to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. He is a Christian in the most real sense of the word. He did not judge me, he had compassion for my plight, and he offered a solution.
And, here is the deal for me when it comes to abortion. I am a Christian and I believe abortion is a sin. But, it doesn't matter if I think it is a sin. I almost did it because I felt it was the right thing to do under the circumstances I was in. I am willing to bet that the majority of women that have abortions feel it is the right thing to do considering their circumstances. Not all, but most.
It is not my place or anyone's place to judge them as people or second guess their reasoning. There are a lot of things that are sins and they are legal. We don't have a fit over them. We recognize that God gave us free will and there are a lot of people that don't believe as we do. We recognize that God will not make us do what He wants us to do and that we have to decide to do what He wants us to do. And, that is the place we need to come to on abortion as Christians. Our fellow man has free will and should be allowed to choose to abort or not to abort whether or not we approve or disapprove.
If we want to do something about it, then we need to be angels of mercy who provide alternatives. Adoption isn't an alternative. It is too flawed and we have way too many children without homes who are not being adopted. No, we need to offer to help pay some bills, help women get on their feet, quit screaming about welfare ... food stamps ... WIC ... and state insurance, and find ways to get these women into a trade or vocational school and help them find a way to support their children. We need to not only offer help, but give help that isn't even asked for because we know it will benefit others.
We also need to make sure that options like Plan B are available to women. If we don't want them aborting, then we need to help them not get pregnant. No birth control is fool-proof and we cannot regulate the morals of others. But, we can make it easier to prevent pregnancy and that will reduce the need for abortions as well.
Christians need to focus on being more Christ-like in their lives, politics, and their dealings with others instead of sitting around judging the morality of those around them. It is not our job. It is our job to set an example, to teach, to give with charity in our hearts, and to spread the message that Jesus is the Savior and that the only way to the Father is through the Son. That is our job. That is what God says for us to do. God did not say that we were to judge our fellow man or force them to live the way we think they ought to.
And, this goes for non-Christians as well. We need to create alternatives to abortion. Alternatives that work. Making abortion illegal will not stop abortion. History has proven that. Repeatedly.
Note: I will probably flush this out better later. I look forward to the feedback, but please pardon any typos or unfinished thoughts.
