June 2004 Archives

Well, the doctor said I am not pregnant. I am now a week late on my period ... and I am like clock-work ... so he has no idea why all of a sudden it is messed up. He says it could be stress, but I haven't been feeling stressed out. I don't know. I know I am tired all the time, but he said that could be from my period being messed up. So, it is a wait-and-see-kinda-thing right now. If I don't have my period within the next two weeks, he is sending me to the OB/GYN to see if they can figure out what is going on.

Now ... it is time to fix supper. Fried crappie, squash, and turnips are on the menu this evening. :)

Why is it that men can be so disgusting? They do really weird stuff that they think is hilarious but it is really gross. And, why does it usually involve rectal functions?

I have always sucked big time when it comes to paint-by-number. I used to try to do it as a kid ... and sucked. I have tried it as an adult ... and I sucked. But now, things have changed. Thanks to the wonderful things people can do with java and stuff like it ... I can now paint-by-number effortlessly and I never mess it up. Yay for me!

And since I am such a sharing, wonderful person ... I will share it with you too. Yes, I know ... you don't deserve it, but I am just nice like that. :P

Paint-By-Number

Yes ... you read that right. I need help plotting LM's murder today. Do you remember when the buttwipe said this? Well, I think he jinxed me. Yep, my wittle friend is late this month and being that I am the most fertile creature on earth ... I think it is time for him to die a slow painful death that somehow involves his genitals.

But, then I look at this and this ... and I think ... it might be fun. :P

"You can't change who you were, but with God's help, you can change who you are." ~From the show Touched By An Angel.

We went fishing yesterday and had the best time. Yes, LM finally got his fishing trip! And, we caught 80 catfish!!! I am not playing, nor pulling your leg ... 80 is what I counted.

We found us an old paylake that the state took due to the owner putting too many mortgages on the place and then not being able to pay for them. Now, they let anyone fish there and we spent about six hours there yesterday. We were catching them one after the other ... and with five poles in the water ... sometimes five at a time! I am talking putting one foot on a pole to keep it from being pulled in the water, while pulling in another rod. It was fun!

I just fried some crappie. It was the BEST CRAPPIE known to mankind. It was caught yesterday by my husband, cleaned by my husband, and cooked by moi ... since my husband is out catching me even more fish.

I am so sorry that you will not get to enjoy the BEST CRAPPIE known to mankind. I ate it all. Every.Last.Bite. But, really, I am not sorry. I feel sorry for you ... but I am not sorry. I am greedy, so I am glad that I got to eat it and you didn't. :P

The telephone must die. All three of them. Since I have to have telephone service to have my DSL ... I cannot just cut them off. So, I must kill them. Is murdering telephones a crime?

All I know is that I am sick to death of my telephone. It rings all the time. Most often when I sit down to eat, using the bathroom, or I am sleeping. I don't need an alarm clock anymore ... nooooo ... I have a telephone that rings every morning around 7 AM without fail. I cannot get anything done without that phone ringing.

I can't sleep either. What is up with people wanting to call at 7 AM? I just don't get that. Unfortunately, most of my town feels it is perfectly acceptable to call here early in the morning ... and usually for LM. But, the phone is on my side of the bed and it doesn't matter how many times it rings ... he doesn't wake up to answer it. Nooooo. I have to answer it and then I am up!

It will ring and ring and ring. If the answering machine picks up, it will disconnect and then begin to ring again. 1 AM ... 3 AM ... 5 AM ... 7 AM! It has no manners at all. It just rings all night and all day. It is like it knows when I am doing something!

I think it is a plot against me. It is watching me. It sees when I am sleeping, it cares one whit if I am awake, it knows when I am cleaning, when I am eating, saying grace, watching a movie, napping, cooking ... it knows every move I make. Every day of the week!

Either it is possessed or it is trying to drive me insane.

It.Must.Die.Now.

I know all of you just love me so much that you would love to be able to make your very own moi. I got this from Sis just so y'all will have the instructions handy. :P

LM: We made twins last night; hope you're ready.
Me: I hope you're ready. I'll take an extended vacation ... for the next 18 years.

Yeah, I am sure you want me to stop ... but I am easily entertained. :)

From Faerie Me :)

Got this from Donna :)

Me: Baby, I can't skin him! He is still moving.
LM: Angel, clean the fish.
Me: No ... kill him first.
LM: How?
Me: I don't care.

*pound* *pound* *pound*

Me: Oh my goodness! What are you doing?
LM: Killing the fish like you said.
Me: With a trailer hitch?
LM: Yeah.
Me: You are hurting him!
LM: You said to kill him and now he is dead.
Me: No, it is not. It is still moving.
LM: That is just nerves.

The catfish takes a big breath and the gills expand.

Me: *scream*
LM: Wench! Just skin it!
Me: No .... *as I run out of the house*
LM: Angel, get back in here!
Me: I am calling 911!
LM: Angel, get back in here now!!
Me: *mutter* Catfish mutilator.

More bashing of the catfish by LM.

LM: Angel, get in here and clean this fish.
Me: I can't. You killed it.
LM: I did what you said to do!
Me: I didn't tell you to bash it's head in!
LM: How was I to kill it then?
Me: Drown it or something.
LM: Angel, it is a fish ... you can't drown it.
Me: Yeah, you can. Put it in the water upside down.
LM: *shaking head* Women!

Okay, I guess it is time for me to remind y'all that Project Appollonia is still going on. If you haven't heard about it, check out the site or the many posts regarding it. Even if you are not into that kind of thing ... this little darling will make you think again. Ain't she just too cute?

I got this one from Shylah ...

I got this one from Donna :)

Heart of Gold

What Is Your Heart REALLY Made Of?
brought to you by Quizilla

Happy Birthday to me! I am now thirty-three!

Wow ... that rhymes. All presents are appreciated, but cash is preferred and will get you extra credit. :)

Update: I got a new Ugly Stick rod & reel and some new lures for my birthday. My sister and Donna gave me birthday wishes on their blogs. And, I got a lot of e-cards and birthday wishes on my answering machine while I was gone today.

Oh, and EJ ... I was just joking about cash. :) But, if you really want to send it ... well, my email address is right over there in the sidebar and Paypal works just fine! LOL

LM, me, our nephew Nikko, and his girlfriend DeeDee went to KenLake and fished for awhile today. I caught a nice sized sogger (the same kind of fish I caught at Kentucky Lake and LM thought it was a gar), a huge drum (good for bait and nothing else), and some bluegill. I also had a huge catfish on my line and the mangy thing broke it ... taking my weight and hook. I use 20 lb test line ... so that gives you some indication of what I was fighting.

LM caught a big ole catfish, as well as DeeDee. Nikko had a big largemouth bass break his line. LM and Nikko caught a turtle apiece ... and so did I. But, the turtle I caught was gigantic. I am not even playing with you! That thing was bigger around than our fish net by a good four inches all the way around. I have never seen a turtle that big except on TV when they show sea turtles.

Here are some pics for ya. :)

Snagged from Donna. :)

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog?

   That would be laughable. I am a sweatpants/jeans and t-shirts kinda gal. I don't wear makeup except on the rare occasion. I don't dress up for most anything, let alone for a trip to the grocery store.

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered?

   I wish. There are a few I am not too fond of, but I cannot seem to make my stomach and butt go away ... even with PSP.

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you?

   Sure. Everyone needs a little entertainment every now and again.

4. Do you lie in your blog?

   No ... though if I did I am sure it would be much more interesting.

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog?

   I don't consider myself a passive-aggressive kind of person anywhere.

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop?

   LOL No. They would probably beg me to quit. We cannot be having that, okay?

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping?

   No. No. I have God. He can fix anything!

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones?

   No and no. Though, for the first question, I was accused of it once when my blog was in the process of changing over to a new server. But, I do retain the right to delete any comment I want. It is my blog.

9. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less?

   I don't know.

10. Do you have a job?

    Yeah. Wife and mother ... most important job in the world. I need more benefits though.

11. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it?

    Sure ... show me da money! :)

12. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life?

    Donna, Shylah, Deb, and a few others.

13. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have?

    Neither. I wish I had more money, but pretending won't give it to me. We are a married couple with five kids between us. Kids = less money.

14. Does your family read your blog?

    My sister does.

15. How old is your blog?

    I started this one last year. I had another one before that though.

16. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care?

    I have no clue. I don't care.

17. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar?

    This is the only one. Take it or leave it.

18. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing?

    LOL Why would I do that?

19. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes?

    No money comes from my blog.

20. Is blogging narcissistic?

    Depends on what part of the definition you are referring to. I don't have excessive love for myself. I don't get erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of my own body or self, especially as a fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development. I don't suffer from a psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem. But, I can hang with the attribute of the human psyche charactized by admiration of oneself but within normal limits.

21. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time?

    Not really. I get really busy at times and just cannot get to it.

22. Do you like John Mayer?

    Who is John Mayer?

23. Do you have enemies?

    Probably. I am not sure.

24. Are you lonely?

    No.

25. Why bother?

    Why bother what? Living? Breathing? Loving? Laughing? Let's be a bit more specific, shall we?

Your turn!

I got this from the amazing, recovering ... and not in the alcoholic sense ... Donna:

I am Fluffy Honeynuts ... LOL!

I know some of you were starting to worry about whether we had made it back alive ... and now you know. :) I was going to post yesterday, but went to bed at 5 PM and did not get up and until 5 AM. Yeah, it was that kind of trip. We took the girls, K, her friend Heather, Eric, Baldhead, Kevin, DD (Moonay's boyfriend), D, and Demar.

Camping Recap:

We got to camp late and it started raining shortly thereafter. We busted butt getting tents up and one got soaking wet in the process, but we got it dried out after the rain stopped.

Saturday, the first night, after camp was setup, Heather called her mom. Her mother decided to give her constant storm updates ... tornado in Fulton ... tornado in Water Valley ... tornado in Farmington ... tornado in Fancy Farm ... tornado in Hardin. Heather spent most of the night crying, especially after the storm hit Kentucky Lake. We only got rain, thunder, lightening, and some wind.