My daddy died on April 18, 2003. It has been almost a year since his death and I have never fully recovered from it. And, ever since he died, I have prayed for a dream of him.
You see, I read a book about dreams and it talked about the author's belief that dreams of loved ones passed on can be visits from them. Of course, dreams of someone gone that are not really about them, a memory replayed from the past, and such are not visits. But, the author said that when you dream of that loved one and you are talking to them, experiencing something new with them, and things to that extent ... that it is a visit from them.
Now, some may think that is bull, but I happen to think it is possible. I believe God could allow us those moments with those we love who are no longer with us. And, as I said, I have prayed for such a dream. Almost a year later, I finally got it.
In my dream, I was in my house on Hale Street. I was talking to my Daddy on the phone and I was amazed at how excited he was. He was talking fast to me, the way I tend to do when I am excited ... and the way he could not stand for me to do as he said that he could not understand a word I was saying ... and he was talking about everything to me.
I looked outside my front door and three men were walking down the street with fishing poles in their hands. The men were all my Daddy's size, built like him, and wearing the kind of clothes he wore. They had on caps, light jackets, blue slacks, and striped shirts. Just like my Daddy. I was telling Daddy that they were going fishing and he was saying that we needed to go as well.
What was even more weird, is that the view outside was not the view from my old house on Hale Street. It was the view from my Grandma Belt's front door. And, it was the most beautiful day. A clear, sunny day. Warm, but with a nice breeze. The kind of day that my Daddy loved.
You know how when you remember back when you were a kid ... how the images and scenes that play before your mind's eye are so clear, so crisp? The greens are greener? Every color is brighter, more beautiful, more clear than you see now? That is what the view was like from the front door in my dream.
I saw an image of my Daddy's old black Ford truck. My Daddy was at the wheel and I was a little girl standing in the seat beside him. I saw our old house in Morganfield and images of my childhood ... like playing in the yard and carrying wood in the house for the woodburning stove. I saw my Daddy's boots ... the ones I loved to put on as a little girl.
He talked of Peabody, the coal company he worked for most of my life.
I guess my subconscious heard the alarm clock go off. In my dream, I told Daddy that I had to go. He sounded disappointed, but asked me if he could come and get me tomorrow so we could have the fishing poles restrung. At that point, he was standing right there, beside my front door with a row of fishing poles, explaining to me with his hands what he meant.
I said sure. And, then I woke up.
I sat up on the side of my bed and realized what I had just dreamed. The tears burst from me and I sat there and bawled. I cried so hard, but not from mere sadness ... though it always makes me sad that he is gone ... but from happiness as well. I finally got to dream of my Daddy. He finally came to visit me.
And while I do not remember all of our conversation now, I know what he was saying to me. He was remembering the good times we shared and reminding me of them as well. He was telling me not to forget them, nor him and what was important to him ... like family, fishing and beautiful, clear, sunny days. He was telling me he loved me. And, he was reminding me that one day we will be together again.
And to him I say ... Thank you, Daddy. I love you too.
That was a lovely dream and I know it gave you great comfort..my Dad died 3 yrs ago and he was also a fisherman. I dream of him quite often tho not as much as Id like to...Take care.
This made me cry too, because I have had only one dream of daddy since he died, and it was real clear and Heaven like, though me and daddy were fighting a fire, but his message to me was to forgive mom, but I just can't do that right now. Maybe when I have finally gotten over his death, if I ever do, I can forgive her then.
I was thinking about daddy last night before I went to bed, and thought about writing in my blog about the things that really bother me where mom is concerned, but it's gonna be a whopper, and Lord knows I am gonna cry like a baby. But maybe, just maybe it will help me deal with some things.
I'm here for ya, we both need to sit down and have a talk about daddy day, and cry it out, it will do us both a world of good!
I keep wanting to have a Toast Daddy Day and get drunk off my butt. The need to do that has not passed since the funeral and I am still wanting that drink. :) Though, I know me well enough that I won't actually do that.
We are planning to go up there next Sunday. Want to join us?
Thank you, Butterflies, I appreciate that :)
This is what I wrote in my blog on the anniversary of Dads death...March 12th
Honor Thy Father
It's 3 yrs ago today that my precious father took his last breathe. He took some small shallow breathes, then a deep one and slipped quietly into Gods hands.
He was with us no longer. We took care of his body and my brother and I laid him gently onto the gurney the undertaker rolled into his room. Then we watched as the hearse drove slowly away, leaving our family weeping on the lawn...Peter Austin Williams had gone.
The next few days are a blur to me...how I coped I will never know. The love of my family and friends kept me afloat in a sea of sadness.
I am still sad.And lonely....
My Dad made me laugh. He was a funny man. He made everyone laugh. He joked when ppl came round to say goodbye and he cheered them up! And it was his death! He coped so well.
I loved him so much...
Hope it's of some help to you. I feel your pain sweetie. But at least we had good fathers. :)
Thank you, Butterflies! That was beautiful and I appreciate you sharing it with me. And, yes we did! :)
I am definately going on Sunday, it's the one year anniversary. Thinking of buying some new flowers. Wish I could put my poem up there somewhere.